#81: Start Beef with Someone

Although I'd like to think of myself as a nice person, there are some people I just hate. And most of the time I don't even know them. They just give off a look that makes you want to punch them in the face. I guess that's what college can do to you, making you hate any person who even has the semblance of a douchebag. The best example of this is my roommate.

this is what google thinks a douchebag is. however, not my roommate.

I never thought I would have a roommate as bad as the first one I had my freshman year of college. That first one is the roommate from hell. At least my freshman roommate would talk to me, and then would steal my shit, try to sell me knives, cut raw meat on his desk, sexile me, and best of all almost got me kicked out of school. Way to go first roommate! This new roommate isn't as bad, but he's a close second. He's annoying, angry, dirty, and French. (ed note: I am by no means an ethnocentrist, but him being French doesn't really help out a whole lot.) Did I ever mention that he doesn't talk to me? Yeah, what a fucking jerk.

You're thinking that maybe I'm not giving this guy a chance. You'd probably say "he's probably a good guy." No. Absolutely not. This year, I made the decision to live international exchange students, as a resume booster and way to "spread my wings" as they say. When I first met my roommate, he seemed like a nice guy, but he looked like he was trying too hard to be a rebel. He liked smoking cigarettes all the time, listening to "punk" music, and coming off to others a whiny little bitch. Whenever, my roommate got really excited about something, he would say "DEWDE! DEWDE! DAT'S SOOOO KEWL! DEWDE! YAA!" so much that it would make me want to rip his vocal cords out.

He and I started out on friendly terms, but that lasted only for so long. The nice, affable guy that I first met turned into a complete recluse, shutting his door and always bitching about shit. He would also completely ignore me and my other roommates, and its gotten to the point I can't take his high-browed, egotistical ways. Everytime I turn on the fan on our apartment to turn cool the place down, he always turns it off like a little bitch. Everytime I place my music too loud, he bitches about it and tells me to turn it down, yet when he rocks out to Less Than Jake, I can't say shit to him. The last straw came this past week, when I returned to finding a towel that was dry, crusty, and smelling of "sex."Needless to say, I was disgusted by this and that was motivation enough to finally pull the trigger on this.

So here's the point: I hate my roommate. I'm tired of his shit. Therefore, I am going to start some shit with him and fight fire with fire. If he wants to play this game of being a little bitch, then two can play. I plan on annoying the fuck out of my roommate for te next two weeks and get him back for all the bitching and faggotry he's done for the past 8 months. I hope I have the balls to do it, because I want to make him pay, but at the same time, I don't want to get in a lot of trouble for it. This douchebag deserves it.

Suggestions for retribution are more than welcome. Leave your comments as what I should do. We need to make him pay.