Catfight 2K8

So in my last post, I wrote about a good friend of mine who had fallen out of favor because of his Facebook profile, not to mention his other shenanigans. I was going to defriend him on Facebook because I was tired of reading his shit on my news feed about how he was bitching and complaining. When I'm on Facebook, I want to know about juicy shit, like wall-to-wall conversations and relationship status changes, not status updates about how fucked up someone's life is. It's mildly entertaining for a time but after three years of this shit continually popping up on my Facebook, it has become quite a problem. And when you have a problem, you usually fix it, which is what I did. Yes, I defriended him. As much as it pains me to cut off connections to the guy, I don't want this fucker to ruin my Facebook experience. I decided that this was the instance to finally grow some balls and man up. This is CATFIGHT 2K8 PEOPLE!!!

In one corner, there was me: the person was tired of this person's shit and ready to react. I was going to float like a butterfly with my big words and sting like a bee with my verbal barbs. This wasn't stuff for kids anymore, like our previous struggles had been, this was a full-on war. I have three years of college under my belt and a vocabulary that would make any novelist blush. Plus, I had an arsenal of curse words to fly out, if I ever showed any signs of frustration-aggression syndrome.

In the other corner, was my friend: a whiny bitch. He was on a mission to attract sympathy and attention from others from his constant cries of "wolf" and the ever-so-popular "I'm lonely and I haven't seen you in forever, so let's hang out" card. In addition to his bitching and whining, he was never a great friend, as he always backed out of hanging with his friends whenever he was home, to butter up his "ladyfriends." Not to mention he also sucks at basketball, as he once received a standing ovation for making a free throw, his only point of the entire season.

Round 1: My friend wrote a rant on Facebook a few weeks that touched on controversial subjects. I finally had the balls to stand up to and comment on, calling him a complete hypocrite. He was writing about things that he never does. Treating ladies with respect? Please, son. All he ever did was scare them away with his unwanted advances of "hanging out" and countless references to them as "sweetie," "dearie," and my favorite, "sugarpie." I was being completely honest about it, for I felt that he was bullshitting his readers. (Score 1-0 the J-Man)

Round 2: Since I wrote some negative things about his rant, my friend isn't going to let me get away with the devastating early blow. He fires back with a quick response to me, saying "You don't know me and you think you can know me after not talking to me in months. Uh huh." Something like that. I would love to tell you what he wrote, but I deleted it from my wall, because I'm not going to take shit like that. I've known that person for years and I know him better than he knows himself. (Score 2-1 the J-Man's in the lead)

Round 3: Since my friend had the decency of taking this battle to the walls of our Facebook profiles, I figured that it would only be fitting to return the favor. Of course, being the bitch that he is, he blocked my access to his wall, so I couldn't respond. I resorted to send him a message, explaining to him that I may not know who he is, but if he can't take honest criticism, then he shouldn't post anything for people to see. And with that, I defriended him. Suck it. (3-2)

Round 4: In a futile attempt to regain some decency, he blocks me, which makes absolutely no sense, especially when I can't see his profile anyway. Nice try, tool. (3-3, I'll give him one for effort)

So that's how it went down. Who won? You decide.

Ed. Note: I mean, of course, I could defriend him without the shenigans that transpired above, but what's starting shit without some controversy and fireworks? This is so much more exciting than clicking on a link. If you think I'm wrong in any way and have beef for the way this occurred, then you probably don't understand and have a friend like this, yet refuse to see it. It's not about losing a friend, but rather cutting dead weight out of my life. As harsh that seems, its the truth. Sometimes, you have to do what you have to do for sake of doing it, even if it's not popular and not the best option.