#51: Win a Swim Meet as a Head Coach

Instead of having this drag out all season or not even come to fruition at all, it only took my second meet to notch the first coaching win in my belt. We scored a major upset today, as we beat the top-seeded team in our division by 40 points. It was a very impressive win for us today, considered we were seeded dead last going into the season. I'm quite proud of my swimmers and they laid it all out on the line today for us.

I honestly could get into more details about the meet, but I must say that winning feels so good and makes any problems that you have dissipate. As I wrote previously about when I won my first meet, I was going to jump in the water and give the opposing coach the crotch chops, none of that happened. There was no ill will as we had one of those postgame handshake lines that you used to do after youth basketball games. It's looked so cheesy and corny, and it pales in comparison to the crotch crops. My swimmers did indeed throw me into the water, and I'm sure that they were very happy to do so. They deserved it. They've worked hard in the past few weeks and should bask in their moment of glory. It hasn't really hit me yet, so I'm kind of at a loss for words. I also lost my voice today and currently sound like a frog, so that might have something to do with being speechless. Hopefully, we can pull together another win next week, but we'll see.

Summer

At last, the drawn-out clusterfuck called college has finally ended for the summer. Thank the fucking lord. Don't get me wrong here. I love college, especially the Thursday night - Sunday morning part of it. But everything else fucking sucks about college. I fucking hated this semester, in regards to the sheer amount of work I had to do and how I found myself at the library at all times, whether it be day or night. But now that's over and I only have one freakin' semester left until I graduate (BALLIN').

Now, I'm home for the summer and a new chapter begins. No longer am I occupied by the meddlesome tasks that school leaves me with. Now, I have all of this free time on my hands, especially from now until Memorial Day, for which I do not have a job until then. Speaking of jobs, I do have a job where I love what I do and I wonder why I'm paid way too much to basically yell at children and make their lives miserable for two months. But it's great work and someone has to do it.

We've got three months here at home people. I plan on making this an enjoyable three months and I hope you guys stick along for the ride and salivate on my posts that will be few and far between.

Nationals Fans are Retarded

First of all, this has nothing to do with 99thingsbefore30, but I'm posting it because it's important. Anyway, I'm a huge Washington Nationals fan and religiously follow them for better or worse. Opening Day is around the corner and yet another season of misery is upon us. However, there is hope, as the Nats are opening a brand-spankin' new stadium on Sunday. I regularly get e-mails about the Nationals, which mainly try to coax me into buying season tickets. I typically ignore them because for one thing, I don't live in DC for half of the season and I'm a poor college student.

But there was one e-mail that I got today that stuck out in my mind for some reason. The Nationals had their "fans" pick some of the music that the stadium will be playing this season, and one of the selections that the Nationals are playing makes me throw my hands up in confusion as if the people who cheer for my team have Down Syndrome or something of that sort. You see, as the "Victory Song" for the Nats, they chose "Beautiful Day" by U2, over "Celebration" by Kool and the Gang. When I saw this, I immediately thought, "what the fuck?"

No.

Picking U2 over Kool and the Gang is a crime in itself. Don't get me wrong, U2 is a great band and all, but its just so typical of DC people to choose that song. They probably have the idea of picking the safe song that Gen X parents and their kids can bob their heads to on the way out of Nationals Park. It just seems like such a "hippie song" because they mainly play on the hippie station at home and gives you the impression that "yeah, we beat you, but its cool because we're going to drive our hybrids and drink Starbucks." Is that what I want the Washington Nationals to be about this season? FUCK NO. We're going to be the baddest team in baseball with the likes of Dimitri Young, Lastings Milledge and Elijah "You Dead Dawg" Dukes. When we win, we need to shove in people's faces and kick dirt on them. Hence, "Celebration" by Kool and the Gang.

Every time I hear that song come on, I always feel like I'm a winner. I proceed to dance around if no one is watching and make myself to be such an embarrassment. I spend the whole song, in a sense, "celebrating", because that's what the song is all about. All that's what we need as Nats fans this season. Face it, we fucking suck and we need all of the good times that we're going to get from our team. Part of that is listening to "Celebration." We're going to have only 60 wins this season, so we should make each one a fucking celebration, bitches! Plus, how can you resist this: