#75: Stop Talking Like My Roommate

This goal is a new one that I've created. It's not for the sake of doing something on my list, it's more of trying to rid myself of a horrible habit. You see, I have a roommate whose expressions, phrases, and general incompetence has become contagious. His name is Kyle. And yes, he is fucking annoying. Don't get me wrong, he's a great friend and roommate, but this needs to stop. But in the three years that I've known him, I've been able to dumb myself down and act like him. It's something very hard, but yet I have done the impossible. His idiosyncrasies and sayings have become second nature to me. Whenever I try to make fun of or mock someone, it's Kyle's phrases that I turn to as my bread and butter. He has some great expressions that are perfect for some situations, but they're all fucking stupid. A five year old could come up with some these. So I'm breaking the habit and stopping this retarded cycle now.

The whole goal in this is simple. I want to sound smarter when I'm around others. Now that Kyle lives with me, I find myself going to the well of saying that Kyle would use too many times. Trust me, the ladies do not like it when I shake my head like a spaz or even sound like a whiny bitch. As I'm preparing to transition from college to the real world, I have to realize that not everyone thinks that Kyle's jokes are funny and perhaps there is another way to sound funny, although it might be hard to fathom.

Granted, I know that this is hard, I mean impossible, to complete. Not with saying that Kyle's vernacular or "Kyleisms" as I like to call them have corrupted my humor and sometimes make me look like a six year old. But rather the fact that Kyle is my roommate and he lives next door to me. By following through on this goal, I can no longer act like him when he tries to hit on me like a faggot (no homo), when I come into my room and find Kyle in my bed, or even anytime he does something stupid. I was able to do this before in the summer, because my parents thought I was fucking retarded whenever I said something that Kyle would say, and would refuse to acknowledge me until I sounded like a normal human being.

So for the rest of the semester, I am not allowed to say the following words/phrases:

- Bo.
- I bet.
- Suck it.
- Really?
- Seriously?
- S My D.
- Meh.
- any form of "beat it."
- shaking my head like a spaz

And the list goes on. I'm short on the all of the words he says, but I'll add them as they come to mind. This is entirely possible, but hard to do. However, it can be done and I'm confident that I'll succeed. I might slip up and there might be setbacks, but I'm comitted to the effort. We'll see what happens.