BFtP: #39 Get Featured on a Sports Blog

Blast from the Past is a semi-rare segment that will grace 99thingsbefore30 every so often, when either I have completely run out of material or when I have completely run out of material, as this sentence has thoroughly proved. BFtP will delve into the depths of history to uncover tales about myself and how I completed certain tasks that have not been previously mentioned on this site. \It won't be pretty but we'll tell it to you like it is. Run-on sentences, misspelings, and random thoughts are the name of the game here, so yeah, it's kind of like that. And so without further adieu, we turn the clock back to July 31, 2007, where we meet young Jason as he heads towards Redskins Training Camp practice.


In my last post, we left a juncture where uncertainty loomed. Yes, I had achieved initial success in getting autographs for my traffic cone. But of course, some Redskins players thought they were honestly too good for the cone and can honestly suck my dick for that. Will I quit and give up? Or will I persevere through this adversity and rise to the occasion? Now, let's return to where we were in the story.

"The cone began to gain some notoriety with the players and the fans, as the fans would cheer every time the cone was signed. I’m sure everyone thought it was pretty badass of me to bring a cone in comparison to their hat or ball. Shawn Springs and Dan Steinberg (writer of the DC Sports Bog) received word of the cone and made their way over to where I was standing. Shawn took my sharpie and put his bane on the cone, while I invited Steinberg to come sign it. I love Steinberg as a writer and I felt that it would be fitting for the legend himself to leave his mark on the cone. Steinberg asked me a few questions about the cone, but I think I blabbered a few words to him after I (pooed) my pants. (again, not really, but close). Carlos “Yellow Socks” Rogers and Fred “Sex Boat” Smoot also came over to the cone, but wouldn’t sign it because they go to gay SEC schools and know that they have to cover something more than the bed to touch this cone.


But the highlight of the day was Chris Cooley. Chris is a fan favorite around these parts and was more than willing to sign the cone. However, when he was signing the cone, he asked, “So, did you steal the cone.” And I said, “Uhhhh, No… Sir.” Cooley laughed as strolled off onto the sunset. No other players came around for they headed to do press or the locker room so thus, the cone had to be put away for the day. A security guard who spotted us as we were leaving had other plans for the cone as he told us that it had to be returned. We pleaded with the man showing him that the cone was ours and how it was different from the rest. I finally got the cone in the trunk and drove away with a hell of an adventure today."

Is the story over? I think not. Check back tomorrow to see how your hero becomes a local celebrity for a day and what happens when his bosses find out? Is the Cone still there? Did you ever bong a beer with it or do something weird to it? All of your inquisitive questions will be answered tomorrow in Part 3 of 3 (or is it) of our epic tale. It's going to be FUN, FUN, FUN!